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cleanup

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Gordon Shumway 2019-11-11 03:27:35 -05:00 committed by GitHub
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Fun/chuck_norris.txt
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@ -22,8 +22,7 @@ Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the s
Person 2: That's bullhshit! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist!
Chuck Norris only masturbates to pictures of Chuck Norris.
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do?
All of them.
How many push-ups can Chuck Norris do? All of them.
When Chuck Norris plays hangman, he decides what the word is.
Chuck Norris went to every planet in the solar system. That is why there is no life on any of them.
Global warming is caused by transient energy leftover from Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks.
@ -130,8 +129,6 @@ Chuck Norris was sitting around a campfire with two cowboys. The cowboys were co
The first one says, "Once, I was charged by an angry bull. I proceeded to jump on its back and kill it by gorging its eyes out."
The second says, "Once I was swimming in a river, and an anaconda tried to strangle me. I ripped its head off with my teeth."
Chuck Norris just smiled and continued tending the campfire with his dick.
Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks cows and butter comes straight out.
If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked about this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
@ -262,7 +259,6 @@ Chuck Norris is not capable of hitting a target on the broad side of a barn. Eve
When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris once kicked a horse in the chin. Its descendants are known today as Giraffes.
Human cloning is outlawed because if Chuck Norris were cloned, then it would be possible for a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to meet another chuck Norris roundhouse kick. Physicists theorize that this contact would end the universe.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but a Chuck Norris glare will liquefy your kidneys.
Chuck Norris once went skydiving without a parachute, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Chuck Norris's version of a "chocolate milkshake" is a raw porterhouse wrapped around ten Hershey bars, and doused in diesel fuel.
@ -316,7 +312,6 @@ Chuck Norris once invited all of the other badasses from TV to duke it out in or
Chuck Norris eats steak for every single meal. Most times he forgets to kill the cow.
Chuck Norris doesn't go on the Internet, he has every Internet site stored in his memory. He refreshes web pages by blinking.
It is said that looking into Chuck Norris' eyes will reveal your future. Unfortunately, everybody's future is always the same: death by a roundhouse-kick to the face.
The First Law of Thermodynamics states that energy can neither be created nor destroyed... unless it meets Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris knows everything there is to know - Except for the definition of mercy.
Scientifically speaking, it is impossible to charge Chuck Norris with "obstruction of justice." This is because even Chuck Norris cannot be in two places at the same time.